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I’m lying in bed; my mind is racing. I just can’t get comfortable. I look at my phone–midnight. If ever I’ve needed a good night’s sleep, it’s tonight. At 9:30 tomorrow morning, I have to terminate a tenured employee who falsified timesheets. It’s my job to drop the anvil. Lucky me. I turn on the light and try to read with little success, then I try again. Finally, I fall asleep around 2:00 a.m. After what seems like fifteen minutes, the alarm goes off.
Ugh! I hate that sound.
It’s 5:30 a.m. I get up, shower, make my health shake, drink some coffee. Put on one of my best suits–have to dress the part. Morning commute. Arrive at my office at 7:15 a.m.
And wait.
Finally, 9:00 a.m. I’m exhausted–the kind of exhaustion where it takes too much energy to even determine how I feel. Thirty minutes and counting.
It had taken me and two other managers numerous hours over three days to connect the dots. In matters like these, a specific itinerary must be in place that includes sharing the investigation with senior management, seeking guidance from the internal legal office, conducting a conference with human resources, and arranging for a security officer to be in the office next to mine–you can’t be too careful in today’s world.
THE DIRTY SIDE OF LEADERSHIP
The emergency signal is in place to notify security in case things turn ugly. Security officials are on standby, also waiting for him to arrive. There are cardboard boxes hidden in the adjacent office waiting for him so that he can collect his personal belongings and, hopefully, expedite his exit from the premises.
Tick-tock.
The clock in my office reminds me how slowly seconds can pass in times like these. Every minute that passes feels like a minor panic attack.
My mind is racing. I feel a tension headache coming on. I’m not sure if Tylenol or a morphine drip would better serve me. I try to remember strategies from the superfluous motivational/leadership books I’ve read over the years as if by the grace of God, some lightning bolt of pliable information will magically surface from the depths of my brain.
But it would seem that credible though they are, those books didn’t provide me with the direction and courage I need to muster by 9:30 a.m.
Then it starts: The self-doubt creeps in like a crazy ex-girlfriend who just discovered my new cell number. I start to question myself and my conduct over the years: Had I ever lied? Or bent the rules? I mean, I’m no saint, and I’m about to alter the course of this guy’s life–his future, his family’s future.
I become acutely aware of the lump in the back of my throat.
My mouth feels as dry as the Sahara Desert. It becomes hard to swallow.
At first, my big promotion looked sexy. The big office, the chance to influence the agency, travel, a generous pay raise. What’s not to love? But now, none of that seems to matter.
It’s 9:10. I skim through my notes one last time. I feel my heart beating; my hands are slightly trembling like the day after a night of binge-drinking.
I received word that he has arrived and is sitting in his car. Waiting.
What must he be thinking right now? Will he admit his conduct? Will he think I’m the biggest prick on the planet? What if he appeals, forcing management into a long, drawn-out cat and mouse game? No.
We need this to end quickly so we can backfill his position. We are short-staffed as it is. Please, God.
Hopefully, it will be over in just a few minutes. After all, what are a few minutes compared to an entire lifetime?
Okay, Ron, focus. You’ve got this.
I knew at some point I would have to do something like this–I just didn’t think it would be this soon.
Okay. 9:20 a.m.
Deep breath.
I conference in HR and ask another manager to be present as a witness.
Tap-tap-tap.
A brisk knock on the door.
Showtime.
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ASIN : B08KNRKWD9
Publisher : Strategic-i-Solutions, LLC (October 2, 2020)
Publication date : October 2, 2020
Language : English
File size : 3299 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
X-Ray : Not Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 1035 pages
